He Remains Faithful Read online

  Chapter 2

  Mike was troubled. Something was wrong in his house. When he came home from work, he could sense the tension. Kelly seemed so angry at times. He had dealt with her moods for years, even when they were sometimes hurtful, but things seemed to be getting worse. Like Kelly, he noticed the distance between them getting wider and wider. At times the distance scared him, and at those times he would try to reach out to Kelly, though often with mixed results.

  Other times, however, he had to admit that the distance had, in many ways, become a buffer zone for him. Though he knew somewhere inside that his reluctance to be near Kelly was aggravating her hurt and anger, he couldn’t dismiss the hurt she had caused him. Kelly sometimes had a hard time managing her temper, and Mike felt her stinging remarks long after she made them. Kelly definitely had a gift with words, especially in the midst of an argument. Even though the most obvious distance had manifested itself over the past two years, he could trace their problems as far back as Sam’s birth.

  After Sam was born, Kelly had a severe bout with postpartum depression. She was often withdrawn, sleeping or crying. But more and more often, she had become irritable and angry, and most of her anger had been directed at Mike. He had felt for her during those times, and she always felt terrible after a tirade. But she seemed to be unable to change the pattern. To make matters worse, they had both felt uncomfortable getting Kelly help. At that time they were attending a church that had very little tolerance for personal weakness. There was no doubt in either of their minds that if the church found out that Kelly was struggling with depression or – even worse- that she had begun taking medication, there would be stern rebuke. So they limped along, becoming more and more entangled in a pattern of pain. The more abrasive Kelly became during that time, the less motivated Mike became to try to work out their problems.

  In an attempt to help Kelly feel less overwhelmed, they had decided that she should stop working full time at the advertising agency and instead work as a consultant on specific projects, doing much of her work from home. This lessened her load but also put a financial strain on them. Kelly continued living as they had always lived, however, often spending more than they had and becoming defensive when Mike questioned her about it. She defended her spending, saying she needed something to make her feel good when Mike felt so absent from her life. Later, she would realize how destructive her behavior was, but often by then the financial damage had already been done.

  So, in the fall of 2001, even though Mike was concerned about their marriage and he wanted to reach out to Kelly to bridge the gap, he couldn’t forget all the years of anger. So he retreated into his own brand of resentment, a resentment borne out of years of feeling the weight of Kelly’s moods and his own struggles to be what she needed. Mike had decided, however, that whatever problem they were having, he could at least take on the role of being a good provider and he could try to be the best father possible to their children. Not knowing what else to do for his household, he spent many hours building up the success of his business and many evenings playing with the boys or taking them to ballgames. He was certain that when things were more settled that there would be time for he and Kelly to repair all of the years of hurt and neglect. He just needed a little more time to heal and to focus.

  In the end, each of them began traveling divergent paths, not knowing what the other was thinking and not willing to find out. Their marriage was in trouble, but neither of them knew how to bridge the distance without risking their hearts, and neither of them was willing to take that risk.